I Read So You Don't Have To

Blaze: Chapter 35

2012-01-30T16:58:00.000-08:00

So SOMEONE shows up at Mummy's house (the author doesn't say who until almost the end of the chapter; she just calls him "he" a whole bunch. I'll describe the scene for you and you see if you can guess WHO IT MIGHT BE) and demands to see Blaze. Mummy: She isn't here. Him: Don't care. Get her down here. Mummy: No. Him: Fine. I'll go get her myself. Mummy: Thats foolish. She isn't here. Him: Okay, where is she? Mummy: Not here. Him: Yes, I got that. So WHERE is she? Mummy: None of your bees-wax. Him: Don't get cute. You've got ten seconds to tell me where she is before I choke the life out of you with my bare hands (hmmm... just WHO could that be?! I'm truly stumped). Mummy: You've caused her enough pain already! Just leave her alone! Him: Eight seconds. Mummy: You don't scare me. Him: Five seconds. Mummy: I'm not telling you a damn thing. Him: Two seconds. Mummy: Yancy will kill you when he gets back! Him: Well it is certainly convenient that he isn't here. One second. You're finished.
He grabs her and chokes her till she tells him that Blaze has been taken to see Madame something something in New York. Hazard (OH THATS WHO IT WAS, I DIDN'T SEE THAT COMING) drops Mummy and runs out of the house, hell bent to get to New York before something TERRIBLE happens.

PS: I looked ahead and this book totals 47 CHAPTERS WITH AN EPILOGUE! HOW IS THIS BOOK STILL SO FAR FROM BEING OVER?! Gughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Blaze: Chapter 34

2012-01-23T16:42:00.000-08:00

While Yancy was correct, Hazard has been sleeping with Rose in her bed, he has NOT been having sex with her. Rose even goes so far as to proposition Hazard for some NSA sexy time, but Hazard politely refuses (SHOCKING). Rose asks Hazard why he doesn't just go after her and how do you know she wrote the note and knew of Yancy's plan and all the other things you've figured out all by yourself? Hazard says he just knows. Rose: Yes, but what about the baby Hazard? Hazard: I am SO ANGRY about that I have to keep my BLINDING RAGE constantly IN CHECK. Rose: * scared * Hazard: Sorry, I just feel like such a dupe... ya know. Since I believe myself to have been duped by my lady love. Rose: * understanding noises *
Once Hazard feels well enough he returns to his people but does not find the solace he seeks. He spends lots of time alone, BROODING LIKE A CHAMP, and the tribe starts to become worried. When Hazard approaches Bold Ax about marrying HfH Gurl they take it as a good sign (WHAT?!). Hazard decides that marrying HfH Gurl will finally squelch all the feeling he has still burning for Blaze (THIS IS A TERRIBLE IDEA AND BLAZE WILL PULL HER HAIR OUT). As Hazard sits by a tree in the crisp fall weather watching a mother and her two toddlers play together (condensed down from a page and a half into one sentence) he realizes he HATES EVERYTHING ABOUT BOSTON WINTERS (rightfully so) and NO BABY OF HIS WILL GROW UP THERE. So he saddles up, determined to bring his child back to where it belongs. Rising Wolf checks in with him before he leaves, and Hazard grinds his teeth a bunch and is very determined to win and all the ladies do as he says, or else. I really see this working out for Hazard. I mean this attitude has always done wonders for him, so I can't see it failing now! (end sarcasm.)
Hazard takes the train from Diamond City, resting his arm and sleeping with a hat over his eyes. Everyone is a little wary of him, but gives him his space. Outside of Salt Lake City some rustlers attempt to hold up Hazard's train and are promptly shot dead "in less time than the human eye could follow" (direct quote). Then everyone on the train give him LOTS of space. He makes it to Boston in a little over ten days flat (Ugh. Can you imagine? Ten days sitting on a coal train. Bleghhhhhhh).
Yancy lets Blaze in on the fact that he taking her to get an abortion about an hour before they are scheduled to leave for Planned Parenthood (see: big giant expensive house run by Madame something something in New York). Blaze says you can't make me and Yancy says yes I can and Blaze says you can't make me and Yancy says YES I CAN. Blaze decides this is a good time to try to plan an escape and decides to wear her REALLY EXPENSIVE black pearls, in hopes she can bribe Madame something something in New York to let her sneak away without telling Yancy. Blaze plans to head south in a hired carriage and then hop on a train west from Baltimore and get back to Montana as fast as she can.

Blaze: Chapter 33

2012-01-19T16:01:00.001-08:00

As Hazard is slowly pulling himself together, back in Boston, Mummy finds out that Bladdy left ALL his money to Blaze. Mummy gets to stay in her house and gets a stipend but the twnety two million dollar fortune all goes to Blaze. Mummy is FURIOUS and Blaze says she wants to go back to Montana. The book now goes on to describe how PAINFULLY BEAUTIFUL Blaze is in her mourning. Wearing all black and being slightly preggnoes apparently makes her IRRESISTIBLE to all the men in Boston, non of which she wants anything to do with. Hazard has ruined other men for her... they all seem so tame now. Mummy says Blaze returning to Montana is ridiculous and Blaze says you can't tell me what to do. This makes Mummy even ANGRIER and she goes to pitch a fit, but Fancy Yancy stops her, whispering in her ear that he has a plan. And its a good-un.
When they return to the house, Yancy secretly locks Blaze in her bedroom and goes to tell poor-simple Hannah the handmaid that Blaze left for Montana right after the will reading was over. Hannah is skeptical but is eventually convinced that yes, Blaze would leave without her, but thats okay because the poor girl is so distraught and what with the baby and all... oh, did you two not know about the upcoming birth? Mummy takes the news in stride, realizing she has even more leverage now, and tells Hannah that since Blaze is gone they will no longer be needing her. Hannah, NEVER QUESTIONING ANY OF THIS, leaves and goes to her sister's, out of Yancy and Mummy's way. This is why you don't hire simple people to be the hired help. They DON'T HELP AT ALL in minor cases of cunning. oh well.
Mummy and Yancy agree that the best way to get the monies off of Blaze is to make her sign her power of attorney over to them. They'll tell everyone she left for Montana and keep her locked in her room till she signs the papers and then ship her off to Europe to get her the hell out of their hair. Yancy and Mummy go upstairs and tell Blaze their demands. Blaze is less than fazed by the idea of losing all her monies (she has a trust fund they cant get within twenty miles of, so what does she care) but she doesn't like how greedy they're being about all this. Although, when your a single faceted villain, who wouldn't be shocked that all you want is to take the money and run? But I guess Blaze hasn't read too many romance novels. Blaze doesn't want the bad guys to win but she doesn't want them to kill her baby like they did Hazard, so she asks for time to think about it. Yancy says he'll give her three weeks... or else. Blaze goes to bed, wishing that Hazard wasn't dead and in the morning Yancy comes in to tell her that in fact, he isn't, but he is fucking other people while she isn't there. Blaze is elated that Hazard isn't dead, but confused why he is fucking other people. He said he loved her and was married to her. Doesn't that mean anything? Yancy suggests she not wait for Hazard to come save her and just sign the papers already. Blaze stares out the window until Yancy leaves and then devises a great escape plan to get the fuck out of Boston. While I wish that was true, it isn't. Instead of doing ANYTHING, Blaze JUST SITS THERE FOR THREE WEEKS HOPING HAZARD WILL COME SAVE HER. Thats it. I'm not quite sure where Blaze's blaze went, but apparently it went out. Yancy comes in at the end of three weeks and Blaze signs the papers without even putting up a fight (WHAT WHAT WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!). This wet blanket Blaze is WAY MORE ANNOYING than angry, irrational Blaze. Blegh.
Yancy and Mummy are up celebrating their big pile of monies when Yancy suggests they kill Blaze's baby in order to make sure there will never be any claim against them as the owners of ALL THE MONIES. Mummy isn't sure how he plans on doing that and Yancy explains in very small words that he is going to take Blaze to have an abortion. Since they have power of attorney over Blaze, they don't have to ask her about anything, they can just make her do it. Mummy wants to know when the dirty deed will be done, and Yancy says he will take care of it first thing in the morning.

Blaze: Chapter 32

2012-01-16T15:53:00.000-08:00

Rose is nursing Hazard back to health and every time she finds him alone she find him brooding and the more times she finds him brooding the more she thinks Blaze MENT SOMETHING to Hazard. Rose asks him one day if he wants to talk about it and Hazard says its going to take a lot of work to re-open the mine. Rose says thats not what she was referring to and Hazard thanks her for taking care of him again. Rose says that is not what she was talking about and Hazard asks if she is going to give in to the young clerk who obviously has the hots for her. Rose: STOP CHANGING THE SUBJECT HAZARD HE IS NICE TO ME. Hazard: You should be good to him, he is young. Rose: Hes only 4 years younger than you... Hazard: I've seen so much so I FEEL really old. Rose: Are you gonna go get Blaze back or what? Hazard: Why? Its not like I was into her or anything, she was just a pawn in the game I was playing with her father (LIES LIES LIES ALL LIES). Rose: *skepticism noises* Hazard: Nope, don't care about that red headed hottie, not one bit. Although... I do wonder about the baybeh sometimes... *le sigh* Hazard spends the rest of the chapter drinking heavily and telling himself that an Indian chief could NEVER choose a yellow eyes over his tribe and his INSURMOUNTABLE ODDS are way more important than any feelings he might have had for that horny ginger. And he is very angry about all of it.

Blaze: Chapter 31

2012-01-15T16:51:00.001-08:00

We find Hazard still digging himself out of his collapsed mine, only now he has burnt out the last of his candles. By his calculations he is not more then ten inches from breaking through to the surface, but he is VERY TIRED, and VERY INJURED, and everything is taking A VERY LONG TIME. Now that Hazard has had to fight his way out of a mine collapse, I am doubling my bets on Fancy Yancy dyeing in a mine collapse. It would be very poetic of Hazard to kill his enemy in the same manner his enemy tried to kill him. So, Hazard is digging and digging and he is very tired and we hear about this over and over again for a few pages. Hazard breaks through to the surface and then very slowly takes his time getting out of the hole he has dug because, like I said, he is VERY INJURED. REMINDER: HAZARD IS FUCKED UP RIGHT NOW YO. He gets himself out of his hole and lies down on the ground, thanking the earth spirits and singing to them (no lie. Not sure where he is getting the energy to sing, but whatevs).
Hazard returns to the cabin to find everything either stolen or broken. He is shocked at the violence man is capable of, stumbles around in his pain to find a clue about Blaze's whereabouts and eventually discovers "her" note. It reads (direct quote): "Hazard, I don't make a good hostage. I told you that. I'm going back to Boston. Blaze." Hazard being a romance hero with no sense of skepticism, IMMEDIATELY BELIEVES THE NOTE TO BE TRUE. I don't know about you, but that note sounds NOTHING LIKE BLAZE. I mean really, she would have used so many more words and never had been able to communicate leaving Hazard to go back to Boston so eloquently. But Hazard falls for it and instantly assumes that Blaze's pregnancy was to further her father's company's claim on his land and mine. Cause if she has his baby (which nobody outside of Hazard can prove is his and with him supposedly dead and all... but we won't bring that up.), the baby would inherit everything that Hazard owns. Hazard vows to re-open the mine and never be caught un-aware again.
He limps his way to Rose's and faints in a chair in her room. Rose finds him, tends to him and when he wakes, tells him that Blaze has returned to Boston. Hazard says he knows, "I only wish the pampered princess (ouch) had left with less fanfare."

Blaze: Chapter 30

2012-01-11T18:38:00.000-08:00

All Fancy Yancy's horses and all Fancy Yancy's men show up at Hazards mine and fuck shit up. Hazard is caught completely unaware (how un-Indian of him!) and Blaze is instantly captured. We find Hazard hiding in his mine, the lower half of his arm shattered (literally described as "shattered," and how he got it, I still dont know. I read this whole chapter and they just never say!) and bleeding heavily. Fancy Yancy and his men are in the process of preparing to blow up the entrance to the mine and completely entomb Hazard. Though a lot of gobbilty-gook about Hazard being in BLINDING PAIN from his injury he limps his way to a box of candles and faints atop it as the mine entrance is blown shut. His one continuous thought is of Blaze and his unborn baybeh.
Blaze awakes to find herself in a bed in her mother's home. Mummy is there but Blaze demands to see Bladdy. Mummy says Bladdy is long dead and you're more than welcome to go look at him in the morgue if you really want to. Blaze, FINALLY AWARE HER FATHER HAS BEEN REPORTEDLY DEAD FOR TEN CHAPTERS, is upset and calls her mom a bitch. Mummy doesn't really care what Blaze has to say cause by the way your Indian man-whore is dead too. Shocked and numb, Blaze denies it for awhile, her mother confirms it for awhile and then Blaze hides her face in the pillow.
Blaze spends the next two days hiding in bed. Mummy suggests returning to Boston which Blaze numbly agrees to. She tells her maid Hannah (who I think we met in the beginning but it was such a minor mention that I didn't even notice it...) that after Bladdy is buried, she will return to the West and have her baby with the Indians. Hannah grieves for Blaze and offers her all the support in the world (which is sweet but, really? A ladies maid who COOS and CARES and BELIEVES IN YOU. I've never read that before. ever.).
Flash over to Hazard, who has been starting to chip away at the ceiling of the mine in his TERRIBLY INJURED CONDITION OH GOD I'M GONNA FAINT AGAIN. He makes a splint and watches his arm get nastier and nastier day by day but still he keeps chipping away at that ceiling cause HE MUST GET TO HIS BLAZE AND HIS BAYBEH. Or he will die trying (Just like 50 Cent!). Direct quote: "It would be his ultimate test and he knew it. Jon Hazard Black versus Death." (My bet is on Death in the long run...)
Blaze leaves on a jet plane (train) back to Boston with Fancy Yancy and Mummy. She still keeps to her bed and Hannah becomes concerned. When Hannah sees a little spark of life in Blaze's eyes one day, she reminds Blaze that she must FIGHT! She must! If not for her father's sake then for the sake of the child! There is the baybeh's birthright to consider! Blaze asks how Hannah knew and Hannah says all old biddies in romance novels can instantly tell whose pregnoes and who isn't. Its just a fact. But Fancy Yancy and Mummy don't know, I can assure you that. Cause they're not old biddies, they're bad guys... get it? Blaze understands and feels the fire in her burn once more! She asks for a dress, pen, paper and a witness. She is going to re-write her will! As she steps off the train in Boston a new fire once again burns in Blaze's soul, which Yancy and Mummy TOTALLY MISS (uh oh). Direct quote: "It was their first mistake in the battle about to erupt."

Blaze: Chapter 29

2012-01-10T12:52:00.000-08:00

At dawn, Blaze, Hazard, Rising Wolf and an escort start back for Hazard's mine. When they get there they find nothing has been altered. Nobody came in the house, nobody touched the mine, nobody found the big gun... nothing. If Fancy Yancy isn't dead (which I'm pretty sure he isn't... we're still waiting on that mine collapse!) then where in the hell has he been? He could have been ransacking things left and right! Once the mine is deemed all clear, Rising Wolf and the escort leave. Blaze and Hazard coo over each other, remembering the good times in the cabin (but avoiding the hostage situation). Hazard suggests, what with the baby coming and all, that they should find her father and tell him, or confirm if hes dead or not. Blaze thinks that's a great idea, but still has no idea that her father could be dead. Hazard plans to talk to Jimmy and Rose to see what he can find out about Bladdy's whereabouts.
Scene cuts to Blaze's mother and Fancy Yancy (NOT DEAD) discussing their wedding plans. Yancy now has a raspier edge to his voice, having survived the knife would to his neck (mine collapse here we come!). Yancy wants to get married right away but Blaze's mummy knows she must mourn her husbands death for at least a year, so not to be ostracized from Boston society. We now find out that Bladdy is in fact dead, and currently lying in the town morgue. Fancy Yancy sent out some men to kill Bladdy and his Indian escort and knew he would live through his knife wound when he found out they had been successful killed (how sweet). The men used long range pistols to pick off Bladdy and his Indian. Bladdy went down hard but his Indian limped away and hasn't been seen since (PREDICTION: Bladdy is NOT dead, he WAS the Indian. Tricky tricky). Blaze's mummy also needs Blaze back so they can go to Boston and collect on the will. She looks way better with a live daughter then she does with a dead one, so she asks Yancy to help her in retrieving Blaze but she makes sure to point out that she does not give a flying fuck what happens to Hazard. Yancy says he will take care of everything tomorrow, not a problem. Blaze's Mommy reminds him to bring the note (what note?) so that it looks like Blaze left of her own free will (ooooo! INTRIGUE!).

PS: I love short chapters, don't you?

Blaze: Chapter 28

2012-01-05T20:29:00.001-08:00

Blaze and Hazard spend the next little while in lovers bliss. They enjoy the sunshine, each other, and other gooey things. Hazard tells Blaze about a vision quest he went on where he learned he had greatness in him (not a dick joke). Blaze offers her love and support for anything Hazard may face with his greatness (heh heh). Hazard takes Blaze to some council meetings against his tribes wishes but he is the chief so he can do whatever he wants suck it (even though they are a very EQUAL society). Blaze is honored but taps out pretty quick cause the meetings are long and boring. While Hazard is getting his tribe meeting on, Blaze hangs out with a nephew of Hazard's named Red Plume. Hazard uses Blaze's absence to ask about Blaze's Daddy and if he is really dead or not. Lucky for him, the person who may or may not have seen Bladdy last is not at the tribe right now so Hazard just drops it and continues to think that not telling Blaze ANYTHING is the best policy. The tribe discusses the upcoming pony (read: panty) raid and agrees to leave in the morning.
Hazard is pulled aside by his dead wife's father, Bold Ax (again, not a dick joke), who tells him that his young daughter wants him BAD. Like, REAL BAD. Hazard is flattered but declines and says she'll get over it soon, she's young. I somehow see ALL THE THINGS HAZARD LOVES TO DISREGARD as being a problem later in this book...
Scene cut to Hazard and Blaze in bed late that night. Hazard tells Blaze he is leaving with the raid party tomorrow and Blaze can't come. Hazard is very slick about telling Blaze she cant come, so as to avoid her flaring up at him and demanding to be involved. Blaze is VERY WORRIED about Hazard dying and really doesn't want him to go. Hazard is kind (in his own way...), but insists that he is going. Scene cut to Blaze and Hazard's tearful goodbye. Ya know what this sounds like to me? Stockholm Syndrome. Her captor is leaving her ALONE in a society she doesn't understand after emotionally and sexually abusing her to the point of NEEDING him. Or its love. Who can say? Hazard says goodbye and leaves Blaze in Red Plume's care. Hazard rides out and is struck by the beauty of his land and contemplates his rich history and culture, rah rah boring. Rising Wolf laughs at Hazard and says he is getting soft over a yellow eyes. Hazard denies it but does admit to being stupidly happy and he highly recommends finding a bitch to leave behind. Rising Wolf says thanks but no thanks.
Back at the tribe, Blaze spends her days hanging out with Red Plume. Red Plume takes care of Blaze and falls in love with her. (Yes, just like that.) Blaze enjoys her time but misses Hazard and is REALLY WORRIED cause she knows she has a bun in the oven now (took her long enough). One morning Blaze wakes to the sound of horses and goes outside to find thirty horses outside Hazard's lodge. Hazard is BACK and has just made Blaze a VERY RICH WOMAN with all her pretty ponies. Blaze is so happy he's back and happy to hear he stole a groom for the horses as well.
Hazard sleeps, Blaze watches him and memorizes his face for awhile and contemplates how to tell Hazard she is in the family way. Hazard wakes up and tells her all about the raid and the ponies running and Spirit Eagle doing brave but stupid things and Blaze just thinks about how pretty Hazard is. I just cut down like four pages of Indian pony raid for you into one run-on sentence. Your welcome. Hazard asks Blaze if she missed him and she fucks him to show just how much. Im surprised she held off that long but aren't we always learning new and special things about Blaze?
Hazard and Blaze go to the post ponies party (alliteration what what!!) and run into Bold Ax with his Horny-for-Hazard daughter (the HfH Gurl). Bold Ax thanks Hazard for the horses he gave him, but is worried HfH Gurl is getting the wrong idea. HfH Gurl is eyeing up Blaze and remarking on how odd it is that she can't cook for her man. Hazard thanks her for her concern over his welfare but hes fine thankyouverymuch. Hazard says the ponies are just a gift between FRIENDS even though we established earlier that a gift of horses is a proposal... I'm sure Hazard knows way more about his CULTURE AND HERITAGE than I do... Blaze is a little miffed at HfH Gurl's inability to restrain herself but Hazard says there's nothing to worry about (LIKE HE ALWAYS DOES). He tells Blaze they're gonna leave in a few days, so really, its nothing to concern yourself over. Blaze doesn't want to leave but Hazard says they must. She goes all doe eyed on him but Hazard stands firm. I kinda miss Blaze's firey spirit... it at least made for more interesting arguments.
Blaze cannot sleep later that night for worrying. She keeps thinking about going back to the mine and how HORRIBLY FUCKED everything is there and decides its time to tell Hazard she's preggos. She wakes him and drops the bomb but Hazard tells her he already knew. I have to quote this next passage directly, cause you need to read the words Hazard uses to describe how long they've been doing the sexy dance. "I've been with you every day, from maré á ape así ? to batsu(w)ō' oce. I would have known if your monthly cycle had come." and no, the question mark is not a typo. Blaze asks Hazard if he's happy about the baby, and Hazard muses on the INSURMOUNTABLE ODDS he must face and the added terror of something being more important than he is. Blaze makes Hazard promise they can come back to the tribe for the birth of the baby. Hazard promises.

Blaze: Chapter 27

2012-01-04T18:38:00.000-08:00

Blaze and Hazard get back from their sexy sexy time by the water and have to rush and get ready for the big dance tonight! Blaze is worried she wont know the steps and Hazard, brushing her hair lovingly, croons that he will show her how. Scene cuts to Hazard and Blaze enjoying the owl dance (also known as a strange collection of vowels with an umlaut thrown in in Hazard's native tongue). As they're dancing Hazard catches Spirit Eagle, one of the younger warriors, eyeing Blaze all fierce like. There is some more talk about the intricacies of the dancing (boring and mildly sexual) when the drums start a new rhythm and Hazard quickly pulls Blaze out of the dance! Hazard tells her she wouldn't know the steps and instructs Rising Wolf to keep a close eye on Spirit Eagle (cause thats not weird at all...). The dance Blaze is not allowed to do is a marriage/makeout dance. All the girls get in a circle and all the hot young thangs give them presents and kisses. If hot young thang gives his girl a horse, they are married. Boom, all done. So the couples are kissing and Blaze is watching when some old medicine women come up to Hazard and start bitching at him. Blaze, feeling generous after her long and overly descriptive boink, tells Hazard to go! Enjoy the dance! Really, I don't mind. (LIES!!!!) Hazard hems and haws, but finally agrees he should (cause it's expected of him, since he is both a hot young thang and a chief) and heads into the dance. Blaze is content until she sees the girl Hazard is about to kiss. This girl wants it from Hazard, BAD. Blaze gets progressively angrier and angrier as she watches Hazard give the girl whats what with his face. Rising Wolf (always the diplomat) tells Blaze that the lady Hazard is smooching is his dead wife's younger sister! Blaze becomes so enraged that she storms off into the dark, eluding Rising Wolf and all others who try to stop her.
Hazard pulls back from his kiss, a little startled at how hot and heavy it had gotten, cause really, he dont want no other lady when he has Blaze! to find that Blaze has stormed off and Spirit Eagle is no where in sight!! (Blaze is in SO MUCH TROUBLE!). Hazard muses that he knew something was up with Spirit (- Eagle) and it was getting kinda obvious how much Spirit wanted to challenge Hazard's AS A MAN for power and glory within the tribe. Oh the life of a sexy Inidan chiefton...
Meanwhile, Blaze is lost in the dark (saw that coming) when she runs into Spirit (saw that coming too). Blaze, SO GODDAMN BLAZINGLY JEALOUS, sees the young warrior as the PERFECT OPPORTUNITY to make Hazard JEALOUS AS FUCK. She suggests dancing to the young warrior, cause if Hazard can dance and makeout with anyone he wants, so can Blaze! Blaze starts to sway against the warrior, motioning him to come dance with her down by the river (not a euphemism) and Spirit thinks that sounds awesome (thinking it is a euphemism) and grabs Blaze. Realizing this has gotten WAY OUT OF HAND (saw that coming as well), Blaze tries to pull away but is weak and feeble and can't do shit. She fights and he pulls her along for quite some time until Spirit decides this is way to much work and i'll just kiss her here right now. He goes in for the big smooch just as Hazard rounds the corner. Blaze, feeling no fear now that Hazard is near (YES YES YES IT RHYMES I LOVE IT), remembers she is OH GOD SO DAMN ANGRY, and kisses Spirit like she means it. Hazard, having not seen Blaze's struggles (they make it seem like that point is really important in this passage, so i'll remind you of it once again), explodes with jealous rage (on the inside btw. He is all masterfully calm on the outside). Hazard separates the two (verbally, not physically (damn)), sends Blaze back to his lodge with Rising Wolf and goes to deal with Spirit personally.
Spirit compliments Hazard choice in Blaze and Hazard tells him to back off or else. Spirit is ready to fight for her but Hazard doesn't fight over women and won't have this conversation with you young man, so just stay the fuck away from her. Spirit is disgusted that Hazard would let a woman have so much sway in his life. Hazard, understanding the boys motives, desires, past, future, dreams, blah, blah, blah, says he knows its crazy but back the fuck off. Spirit suggests Hazard is getting weak. Hazard tells him he is welcome to come find out (snap!).
Hazard heads back to his lodge to find Rising Wolf guarding the door. Hazard tells him not to worry... he isn't going to hit her (oh thank god). Hazard enters and finds Blaze bright eyed, bushy tailed and PISSED. She flings everything she has at him (verbally, not physically) and asks why he keeps her around and pretends to love and care for her when its OBVIOUS she is but a drop in the bucket of the things he needs to posses sexually. Hazard is a little hurt/appalled... he'd been telling his people that Blaze was his wife and that decision did not come lightly (not that Blaze would know that, since she continues to NOT SPEAK THE LANGUAGE). Blaze goes for the jugular and asks if she should be paying Hazard for his attentions over the last week. Hazard, so angry he can hardly see straight, flops down on the bed and lets Blaze's yelling rain down on him. The quieter Hazard gets, the more rage-tastic Blaze gets until she tries to slap him. Hazard grabs her arm before she can make contact and pins her to the bed, grinding his pelvis into hers. I know when I'm fighting with someone I always need to throw a good sexual assault in there too... Hazard says he owns Blaze and Blaze says no man owns her and so on and so on for awhile. You cant fuck other guys, yes I can, no you cant, yes I can, trollop, hypocrit, you get the idea. They struggle until they stop (and yes, that happens just as suddenly as it seems and for no real reason) and Blaze confesses she kissed Spirit in retaliation for Hazard kissing his dead wife's sister. Hazard says he understands, and that he wants Blaze to stay with him always and he loves her. He becomes overwhelmed with his feelings, has to think about his dad, his vision quest and his horrible plight to save his tribe from the yellow eyes before he'll snuggle into the safety of Blaze's arms and let her profess her love for him. Hazard marvels at how easy it is for Blaze to love and how fully she experiences her emotions (also know as a bi-polar disorder...) and humpty dances her all night long

Blaze: Chapter 26

2011-06-07T12:35:00.000-07:00

In a less than shocking move, Hazard and Blaze head off to a secret little pond/meadow/wooded area, swim, fuck, and then profess their love to each other. That's the whole chapter. Seriously. In honor of this chapter I will now quote all the pairings of words that made me go 'blegh':

'undulating grassy highlands', 'fragrantly verdant', 'burgeoning fertility', ladened plum bough', 'slimly erect', 'woodland sprite surprised at her bath', 'cut through the water like a whipcord', 'frothy bubbles', 'like silk on velvet', 'waggish amusement slid lacily', 'internal guide to excellence', 'a swollen dimension', 'lovely rampant length', 'his erection beautiful and offering to her', 'very slowly, savoring the separate words', 'pleasure like opium dreams', 'so beautifully inside her', 'impudent wretch', 'hot little body starts tuning up', 'pettishly exhaled', 'quivering heart of her need', 'round opulent', 'high peaked presentation', 'lush pink flesh', 'rough-soft voice', 'dewy sweetness', 'shattering surge', 'creamy fluid drip languidly', 'as the spring sun kisses new tender green shoots', 'precious creature poised like a shimmer of gold', 'flaring golden-striped gossamer wing'

You can't make shit like this up.

Blaze: Chapter 25

2011-06-05T10:38:00.000-07:00

The tribe is riding out for the first buffalo hunt of the season, with both men and women in attendance. The tribe rides single file across the land in a MAJESTIC and NOBLE formation. The young warriors of the tribe ride around the line at top speed, doing acrobatic feats to impress all the bitches. Blaze is all a giggle at their athletic abilities and Hazard is feeling a little... oh wait... what's that feeling? The one where you want ALL THE ATTENTION and get pissy when SOMEONE ELSE HAS IT...hm. Hazard does not wish to look too deeply into the murky well that is his emotions, so he chooses to just dismiss his feelings and carry on. Rising Wolf asks Hazard how it feels to be on the other side of the tribes mating games? Defending his claim instead of coaxing it away... Hazard glares and Blaze asks what are you guys talking about BECAUSE I HAVE NO IDEA WHATS GOING ON SINCE I DONT SPEAK YOUR NOBLE NATIVE LANGUAGE. Hazard says it's boy chat, nothing more. Hazard asks Blaze to please be careful during the hunt and to not try anything stupid (like usual), cause a heard of buffalo cannot tell the difference between her fine ass and a tree (was that a skinny crack? cause Blaze is about to be AS BIG AS A HOUSE in about 8 months or so...). Blaze says she's not going to do something dangerous (for once) and she also isn't going to skin any buffalos cause OHMYGAWD THAT'S GROSS! Hazard says bitches don't do that shit, the boys do, she just has to cook the meat... and on second thought how about you don't do that either, since your cooking is hellish. Blaze feels contentment at not having to do anything.
As they approach the heard of buffalo everyone stops speaking, the boys strip down to damn near nothing, hop on fresh ponies and THEY'RE OFF! There a few paragraph of lavish hunting strategies and movements that I won't bore you with and when the dust settles, Blaze finds Hazard slicing up his fresh buffalo kill. She spends some time watching the "grace and strength" of his hands (QUESTION: HOW CAN SHE SEE HIS HANDS? SHOULDN'T THEY BE COVERED IN BLOOD AND GOO FROM THE DEAD BEAST HE IS ELBOW DEEP IN?) and tells Hazard she is never going back to Boston society. Hazard doesn't respond, so Blaze says it again. Hazard reminds her of the NUMEROUS OBSTACLES in her way (her father, her mother, Fancy Yancy, all of western society and breeding...) but Blaze just wants to know if Hazard wants her to stay. Hazard says it's not about what I want, it's about what's good for my people. Blaze: But what if you're people weren't here and all those other things you listed went away? Hazard: But my people are here and those things do exist. Blaze: Yes, but what if they DIDN'T. Hazard: In that case, of course I want you to stay with me. Blaze: EVERYTHING WILL WORK OUT FINE BECAUSE I SAY SO. Hazard: Kiss me with abandon and let us roll around in the carcass covered grass like puppies! And they do. (FUCKING GROSS WHAT THEY HELL?!) (btw: the book talks nothing about gross, just fresh grass smell and roaming hands and so on and so forth OH GOD THIS BOOK IS SO REALISTIC!!) Blaze wants bouncy bouncy now but Hazard says he has to finish skinning his kill. Blaze says hurry up! Hazard complies.

Blaze: Chapter 24

2011-05-27T17:50:00.000-07:00

Blaze and Hazard awake and camp is already in full swing. Hazard says they must go bathe, everyone else at camp already did at sunrise. Blaze says no (why does she have such an aversion to bathing? You figure she's a lay-dee, she'd be dying to wash all the DUST AND NAST AND OL WEST from her skin more often. Whatevs.) and Hazard says she must. Blaze says no and Hazard goes into a long list of reasons why she has to (We are CLEAN people, its CULTURALLY important to us, it makes my people feel more BELIEVABLE to the reader...) and accidentally slips and backasswardly tells Blaze that everyone in the camp believes her to be his wife. Blaze is all "I'm your wife and not your concubine because you LOVE ME?" Hazard says "Lets not talk about this now. Can't we just have a GOOD TIME?" Blaze hears Hazard's whining and feels to SORRY for him and his HARD LIFE. (Whaa.) Blaze simpers and says she will gladly be Hazard's wifey. Hazard carries her down to the river (in joy, not in anger. I can see where you would think that, but no. He's being CHIVALROUS.) So they fuck at the river and Blaze tells him he is a good lay and has anyone ever told you that before? Hazard asks if she wants the truth or something that sounds good. She goes for what sounds good and they wrestle like puppies and fuck again. After the lay Hazard asks if Blaze is hungry, he'll have lunch brought down to the river. Blaze asks if everyone knows where they are and what they are doing. Hazard says "duh. How else do you think nobody else came around?" (paraphrasing). Blaze is all shocked and embarrassed and Hazard re-wooes her by telling her she is the best thing to ever happen to him. They return to their tent where Indian bitches bring them food to eat. One Indian Bitch eyes Blaze and says nasty things to Hazard in their language and Hazard stares her down. Blaze is confused but is again comforted by Hazard's pillow talk. Hazard is worried though, b/c Indian Bitch warned him she was gonna come to him in the night (for sex.) Hazard doesn't want to do Indian Bitch since he has Blaze, but he worries that someone will try to slip under his covers at night cause thats A TOTALLY NORMAL PART OF NATIVE AMERICAN CULTURE. But I won't worry cause nothing will happen and there is NO REASON I should tell Blaze about ANY OF THIS because she would never understand. (PREDICTION: THIS COMES BACK AND BITES HAZARD IN THE ASS.) Blaze and Hazard talk and Hazard bitches about living his HARD LIFE and how CLOSE TO DEATH everything he holds dear is. And then they fuck again.
A little while later a group of Indian woman come to the teepee. They're here to help Blaze with her new native wardrobe. Blaze doesn't want someone who has fucked Hazard to see her naked, so Hazard sends everyone away except for one old woman. Blaze still doesn't want to get naked in front of someone she doesn't know but Hazard coos at her and she crumples like a pile of laundry. Her fiery spirit is just so damn FIREY! Blaze tries on the dresses while her and Hazard eye fuck for a few paragraphs (peach-gold skin, hips, boobs, blah, blah, blah) until a dress comes up with a LOW NECKLINE. Blaze likes it, Hazard doesn't, they tussle, and Blaze shuts him down. Hazard apologizes but then tells the old woman to not bring the dress back (in the native tongue, of course). The old woman observes this interaction with millions of years of experience and is impressed with Blaze's courage and tenacity. She wonders what a baby born of these two people will be like CAUSE THE WHITE BITCH IS PREGNANT YO! (Oh Sweet Jesus NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooo).
Late that night Hazard asks a well fucked Blaze if she is happy at the summer hunt. Blaze purrs (gag). Hazard asks if she wants to come buffalo hunting tomorrow? Blaze asks if other woman are going, and if so yes, but otherwise, yes. Blaze asks if she can kiss Hazard in public, which Hazard says yes, but within reason. Blaze tells him she is going to ignore everything he says... ever. Hazard laughs and fucks her yet again.

Blaze: Chapter 23

2011-04-13T17:24:00.000-07:00

As Blaze and Hazard approach the summer camp two "wolves" (see: douchey Indian teenagers on horses who "guard" the camp) approach them. They are very excited to see Hazard and tell him all about it. While we can understand what Hazard and the "wolves" are saying to each other (BECAUSE ITS WRITTEN IN ENGLISH), Blaze cannot understand the "native language". Poor Blaze. The wolves are surprised Hazard has taken a yellow eyes (yes, plural) as his wife. But surely not! A white bitch could NEVER please Chief Hazard! All the other Indian ladies you've fucked before are gonna be JEALOUSSSSSSSSSS! Hazard tells them to ride ahead and warn the tribe that he has arrived. Hazard rides through his home and everyone stares and laughs at all his jokes. Everyone is VERY SHOCKED by the yellow eyes that Hazard is "cradling gently". They all remember how many horses he paid for his last wife (he must have REALLY LOVED HER)... this red hair bitch shit be crAAAAZy. Hazard carries Blaze to a bed in a lodge, dismissing the boy assigned to guard the door. Hazard asks if Blaze is feeling okay. (REMINDER: HER ASS IS CHAPPED FROM RIDING AND SHE IS OBVIOUSLY INCAPACITATED OH WOE IS ME.) Blaze asks Hazard to have sex with her (paraphrasing). Hazard says no. Blaze asks how many of the Indians in the camp are related to Hazard. Hazard says: uhhh... most of them. We're a clan within a lodge within a society within a season and everyone is related (in some way). Blaze asks: Are any of the children yours? Hazard says: ... none by my wife (OH SHIT WHAT?!) Blaze: !!!! Hazard: Our customs are DIFFERENT. Everyone FUCKS EVERYONE. You get a sexual CHOICE here. Blaze: Was the boy guarding our door your son? Hazard: ... why? do we look the same? Blaze: OMGYESWHAT?! Hazard: We're cousins... but not... cause we're Indain... you wouldn't understand lets drop this subject completely. BLaze: NO! Tell me about the other bitches you've fucked! Hazard: Now why would you want me to do that? Blaze: B/c I'm SOOOOO JEALOUSSSSS. Hazard: Baby I only want to bone you now! You know that! Blaze: But this is all so nuts! You have CHILDREN for gods sake! (note: this is not what she said... she said something about hating the woman in his past (not him and his whorish ways) and that there's nobody in her past so he can't understand how she feels whaa whaa whaa). Hazard: Oh look! People who want to serve me food! Lets do that and not talk about this. So a bunch of Hazard's tribesmen come in and they all sit around and eat food in some ceremonial fashion with fancy bowls that you don't really need to know about. Blaze comes up in conversation a bunch and her position at the fire (next to Hazard) and what that SYMBOLIZES and Hazard tells them she is his wife. Blaze gets NONE OF THIS, cause she can't understand WHAT ANYONE IS SAYING. Everyone is VERY SHOCKED but nobody objects and they go back to ceremonial meal-ing. Everyone leaves and Hazard explains their tribe hierarchy (no one person makes the decisions, but I know the most stuff so I make the most decisions) and gets sad about the INSURMOUNTABLE ODDS against his tribe in the battle against the white man. Blaze offers Hazard money to save his tribe and Hazard says lets not talk of such things now. Lets cuddle and sleep piled like kittens. And they do.

Blaze: Chapter 22

2011-04-11T07:31:00.000-07:00

Blaze is pacing the floor (in a very un-lady-like fashion!) fretting over the continued absence of Hazard. Its been five hours... WHERE IS THAT DAMN INJUN?! She frets and panics and panics and frets for a good three pages, trying decide if she should wait for Hazard on the porch, in a chair, or in bed (Ah Blaze... your life is just rife with hard decisions) when HAZARD COMES BACK! Blaze runs at him, clings "shamelessly" to him, covers him in kisses and doesn't say ONE THING about what a late hour it is. Hazard asks her if she wants to go to the summer hunt and Blaze says YES! Hazard asks if she wants to think about it and Balze basically says she doesn't think about things, she just knows when she wants to do something (that sound like its working out REALLY WELL...) and then does it. Hazard laughs at his little spit-fire of a woman and tells Blaze they are leaving now... right now. Get ready, cause HERE WE GO. Blaze notices the scratches on Hazard's hands and asks if the speed of there leaving has anything to do with what happened in town (Funny, I thought: WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN?! would have been the first thing out of Blaze's mouth, but I guess I've been wrong about her before...). Hazard says he might have killed Fancy Yancy (although I doubt it...) but he doesn't know, he left in SUCH A HURRY, and he just wants to go home... no real reason, (outside of the NUMEROUS people who want him very very dead) he just wants to go. Hazard starts to pack a travel bag and tells Blaze to get dressed... oh wait, you don't have any suitable riding clothes... hmm. Here, have these ELABORATELY DECORATED AND OBVIOUSLY VERY SPECIAL Indian lady dresses I have sitting on a shelf here, lovingly wrapped in a buckskin... I'm going to go outside now and tend to the horses and I'm not acting awkward at all, so don't look at me like that. Blaze looks at the dresses and realizes they used to belong to Hazard's dead wife. Blaze becomes angry at the idea of wearing that dead bitches clothes and tells Hazard (in a very stern voice, while stomping her feet) that I WON'T WEAR THEM I WON'T I WON'T I WON'T YOU'RE STUPID. Hazard is a little shocked at her behavior (REALLY?! SHOCKED?!) and reflects that it had taken a small piece of his soul to offer those dresses to Blaze. Hazard says he wouldn't have offered them if there was any other choice, but she can't ride long distances in cotton clothes and he really doesn't like it when she raises her voice. Blaze says she will wear a pair of Hazard's pants or she isn't going. Hazard says fine! Ride your butt raw for all I care! I just want to go! Blaze returns to the cabin, and comes back in pants (AND A SHIRT! THE GIRL IS FULLY CLOTHED!) and clambers onto her horse. As they leave Hazard goes into three paragraphs of history of the Native American and its bond with its horse flesh and the land and blah blah blah. They ride all night and all morning and finally stop when Hazard sees Blaze's jaw has been clenched in pain (NO WONDER SHE WAS SO QUIET). Hazard helps Blaze off her horse and lays her down on a bed of leaves and other plant life. Blaze is AMAZED Hazard hasn't said "I told you so" or anything of that nature and is SHOCKED at how kind he is being to her now after she was SUCH A CHILD. Blaze watches Hazard for awhile, musing over how pretty and nice and kind and smart and handsome he is (gag) when she asks "why do you still love your wife?" Hazard asks how her butt is feeling and Blaze says don't change the subject (cause ya know, its not painful or upsetting for you in anyway or anything like that...) Hazard says you can't love a dead person... but you can love their memory and the way they made you feel. Blaze asks how did she die. Hazard responds "By her own hand... no more questions." Blaze mulls this over for a bit when Hazard says its time for bed. Blaze attempts to get up and realizes her ass is in BURNING PAIN (Syphilis much?). Hazard carries her into the shelter he made and offers her salve he brought for her chapped ass (from riding in cotton and not buckskin... not from the syphilis. DAMN). Hazard says when they arrive at his camp they can have a whole buckskin wardrobe made up for Blaze... because she is HIS WOMAN.
In the morning Blaze's bottom is feeling much better... enough for her to want her morning quickie. Hazard says no (ooo! restraint!), gently dresses, feeds and carries her to his horse. Hazard rides with Blaze nestled in his lap, even though Blaze says she's totally cool to ride on her own. Isn't that cute? As they travel Hazard goes through page after page of musing over Blaze as HIS WOMAN and what that means and what Blaze's affections are and where can this go and what will he ever do without her and so on and so on. Right before they arrive at Hazard's tribe he dismounts and begins to put on all of his Indian chief accouterments, which include: wolf tails, beaded moccasins, falcon feathers, eagle feathers, blue and green shell earrings, fringed clothing, and a bear teeth necklace. His horse gets some shit to, but really, you get the idea. Dude is fucking DECKED OUT. He gives Blaze a few things (necklace, more beads) and brushes her hair (awwwwwwwwgag) before heading into the camp.

Blaze: Chapter 21

2011-04-04T13:34:00.001-07:00

Hazard is getting ready to head into town and Blaze is VERY PANICKED. Hazard wants to pick up the dresses and other things he asked Rose to get for Blaze but Blaze does not want him to go because EVERYONE IN TOWN WANTS TO KILL HAZARD. Hazard offers to bring Blaze some books to help break up the tedium of being a hostage/raging whore and Blaze, VERY NEAR TEARS, tells him she doesn't care about the tedium, damnit, she just wants him back alive! Hazard pulls her into his embrace (gag) and kisses her passionately (barf) and tells her not to worry, he'll be back soon.
Hazard arrives at the edge of town (after running all the way... because he is an Indian and knows how to do such things without tiring. They're a very ATHLETIC race.) and sees armed guards at both the front and back of the brothel. Knowing they're waiting for him, Hazard decides to get into the building through an alternative route... THE ROOF. Using his leather lasso (which every god fearing Indian has on him AT ALL TIMES) he ropes the chimney of a building a few doors down from the brothel and climbs up to the roof (demonstrating more of his AMAZING ATHLETICISM). He leaps from roof to roof (ooooo! ahhhh!) until he reaches the brothel. He slips into the brothel through a 2nd story balcony, sliding past the room's occupant and her customer undetected while they're going about their "business". Hazard enters Rose's room and Rose tells him to get out! The brothel has been under surveillance 24/7 since Hazards last visit and he is ABSOLUTELY NUTS for coming back here. Rose tells him to Fancy Yancy has every able bodied man in town looking for him and he has to go, NOW. Hazard tells her not to worry. Rose says Yancy wants him dead and has Blaze's Mommy's money backing up his want. Hazard says don't worry, I got this. Rose says "no seriously, this guy wants you DEAD. You have to GO." Hazard says don't worry, I got thi... WHAT WAS THAT?! There's a knock at the door. Hazard slips into Rose's closet and Rose answers the door. One of her bouncer's tells her someone is causing problems in the gambling room and Rose says get rid of him and shuts the door in his face... but not before he sees black hair and a tan face reflected in the mirror over Rose's dresser. Smiling, the bouncer heads downstairs to tell Yancy (who he is OBVIOUSLY working for) that the damn Injun is in Rose's bedroom. (OH NOES! WHATEVER WILL HAZARD DO?!) Rose tells Hazard to get out. Hazard asks for a cup of tea. Rose says NO GO THE FUCK AWAY. Hazard says no worries, I got this. Rose: HAZARD GET LOST. Hazard: Do you have those dresses I asked for? Rose: YES HERE (throws them at him) NOW GO. Hazard: How about some books? Maybe a cookbook too? Rose: DO I LOOK LIKE I OWN A COOKBOOK I'M A FUCKING BROTHEL OWNER GET OUT HAZARD! Hazard: If I could just borrow a few books then...? Rose: HERE TAKE THEM AND NEVER BRING THEM BACK THEY WANT TO KILL YOU DON'T YOU GET THAT? Hazard: Alright alright, I'm going... actually, do you have that special soap we were discussing last time? Rose: ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR GODDAMN MIND? Hazard: Oh, okay then. How about those chocolates? Rose: HERE TAKE MINE JUST FUCKING LEAVE! Hazard: Okay Rose, I'm going... oh, wait. Do you know whatever happened to Jimmy? I haven't seen him for a few chapters and I was just wondering... Rose: HE BROKE HIS ARM AND IS FINE PLEASE LEAVE BEFORE THE VEINS IN MY FOREHEAD EXPLODE. Hazard: Oh, alright then. I'll just leave the way I... oh yeah! By the way, I think I'm going to leave town for a few weeks. I've just decided right now that I'm going to take Blaze to my tribe's sumer hunt, but we will be back in like a month or so. Rose: WHY HAVEN'T YOU LEFT YET I DONT CARE THE FURTHER YOU ARE FROM HERE THE BETTER. Hazard: Thanks for everything Rose... You're a good friend. Hazard turns to leave (FINALLY) when... the door crashes open (uh oh.) and Fancy Yancy is standing there with his gun pointed RIGHT AT HAZARD (who didn't see that coming? I know I sure didn't...). Yancy demands Hazard sign over his claim to him RIGHT NOW OR BE FILLED FULL OF HOLES (which would be something new for Hazard, considering he is usually the one filling other people's holes...). Yancy says Hazard is going to sign his land over RIGHT NOW or him and his 30 men downstairs are going to TEAR HIM LIMB FROM LIMB. Hazard (calmly) asks Rose for pen and paper. There a page and a half of tension while Rose trembles her way through acquiring a pen and paper, which she places on her desk. Hazard sits down and begins to write up a statement that he bestows him claim upon Yancy Strahan... when he drops his pen (Clumsy Clara!). As he bends down to pick up the pen (which takes another page) he retrieves the knife from inside his boot and decides he is going to aim for Yancy's throat (instant silence, possible death). He returns the pen to the table and throws the knife into Yancy's throat, hitting his mark with scary accuracy (EVEN MORE ATHLETICISM). Rose: GO GO GO OUT NOW NOW NOW. Hazard: Will you be okay? Rose: YES! DEAR GOD JUST LEAVE!!!! Hazard: Alright, I'm outtie! Hazard is out the window, back up on the roof and three houses away when he hears shouting coming from the brothel. He leaps from the last rooftop (not without scratching himself up a little, but its NBD for a man like Jon Hazard Black), and starts to run for home, knowing the men chasing him will never find him in the dark because he is SUCH A SNEAKY SNEAKY INDIAN.

Blaze: Chapter 20

2011-03-31T11:20:00.000-07:00

Its a week later and Rising Wolf is stopping by the cabin. He is NOT SURPRISED AT ALL to find Hazard and Blaze in the same bed together. As Hazard is pulling on his pants and tucking Blaze back in (aww) Rising Wolf asks when the stand off ended so he can find out who in the tribe won the bet. Hazard is a little miffed they were betting on his ability to hold out, but tells him it was eight days ago (eight days x six times a day = FORTY EIGHT SEXY TIMES. Gross). Rising Wolf lost the bet... he said Hazard wasn't going to make it to sundown on the day he left, let alone THREE WHOLE DAYS. Hazard glares and Rising Wolf tells him whenever he tires of her he'll be happy to take her off his hands. Hazard says back off (Territorial... how cute!), this isn't the type of girl you get tired of. Hazard asks about Blaze's daddy and the go-between and Rising Wolf says Bladdy is DEAD. Someone who knows someone who is in another tribe saw the body... so it could have been him but it also could have not been... all those Yellow Eyes look the same. Rising Wolf suggests bringing ten to twenty men to Hazard cabin to protect his claim and help prepare his REALLY BIG GUN for use. Hazard thinks that is a BAD IDEA because he doesn't want to lose all the work he has done on his mine to a turf war. Blaze, totally clueless as to what they're saying (they're speaking their Indian baby language at each other) offers them breakfast. Rising Wolf replies to her in English, which surprises Blaze and Hazard explains that his aunt married a white fur trader, so most of his tribe knows English (CONVENIENT!). Hazard takes Rising Wolf outside and tells Blaze she should get dressed in a shirt AND pants this time. He doesn't want to share the sight of her long legs with anyone else... When they return to the cabin Blaze is dressed (SHOCKING) and cooking bacon (MORE SHOCKING) and not fucking it up (EVEN MORE SHOCKING!). Rising Wolf comments on her improved cooking skills and Blaze tells him the Hazard has been helping her learn. Rising Wolf is very excited to hear all about Hazard's new LADY SKILLS so he can tell their tribe during the upcoming summer hunt. Hazard is not looking forward to being mocked mercilessly and Blaze wants to know what a summer hunt is. Rising Wolf explains it is when many of the tribes come together to socialize and hunt. Blaze is VERY EXCITED about this and wants to go. Hazard says no (BOO), its not a sideshow for Blaze's amusement. Blaze tells him to cool down and not be so touchy. Rising Wolf is SHOCKED that a WOMAN would speak to Hazard in SUCH A MANNER! Rising Wolf is waiting for Hazard to TELL THAT BITCH WHATS WHAT when... he apologizes to Blaze. Rising Wolf is surprised, but keeps it to himself. He is sorry, but they just can't go... there is too much to be done at the mine. Isn't he behaving like a REAL GROWNUP? In reality Hazard doesn't want to go because the whole tribe will be watching him make goo goo eyes at Blaze and HE CAN'T HAVE THAT. Nobody would respect him anymore if he was caught DROOLING OVER A WHITE BITCH. Hazard shuts down the whole conversation and it's not brought up again.

Blaze: Chapter 19

2011-03-29T11:30:00.001-07:00

Hazard is up and out the door by the time Blaze wakes up the next morning. Blaze is a little disappointed because she wanted to kiss him good morning and have herself a morning quickie (HOW HAS HER CROTCH NOT FALLEN OFF!?). She thinks about how experienced, sensual and charming Hazard is, but she knows he isn't like that with only her... she understands that there have been other women because thats the way the Indians are. They allow sexual freedoms to both their men AND women, which is so different from the society she grew up in (minus all that adultery women are apparently allowed to have...). But even with his pre-disposition towards multiple lovers, Blaze is determined to make Hazard hers and hers only. She gets up to start breakfast and sees that Hazard cleaned up the tub and towels from last night which Blaze is very impressed with. Any other man she knows would have been irritated and inept at such a task... but not Hazard. He is such a well rounded gentleman. Blaze heads towards the stove when she notices THE DOOR IS OPEN. Putting on one of Hazard's shirts she heads towards the open door and steps outside. She stands on the top of the hill where she met Hazard when she came up to his claim to talk to (fuck) him and reminisces about HOW MUCH HER LIFE HAS CHANGED since she first climbed this hill. I kinda understand why she isn't running with all the power in her body (probably because she doesn't have much left after doing the naked shuffle SIX TIMES) but at the same time HELLOOOOOOOOOOO ESCAPE TO FREEDOM GO RUN NOW NOW NOW NOW. But before that thought can even cross Blaze's high-spirited mind she hears someone call her name and tell her to not go any further. She looks and Hazard is standing a little further up the hill and she is SO EXCITED to see him (instead of being indignant that he is telling her what to do... high spirited my ass.) She climbs the hill and finds Hazard standing next to A VERY BIG GUN. He explains its a Gatling gun and Blaze is (rightfully so) a little scared of it... until Hazard gently touches her face. Then she has no problems making love under the shadow of Hazards massive firearm. Isn't that cute?
Fancy Yancy (Blaze's Daddy's foreman) and Blaze's Mother are having dinner together. They have sent all of Bladdy's workmen back to Boston and since the coast is clear, they think a dead Injun (aka: Hazard) wouldn't be such a bad thing. Blaze's Mommy suggests not only killing the Injun, but her husband as well. Fancy Yancy loves the plan and suggests sending hired highway men out to kill Bladdy before he gets back from his trip over the mountain. All Yancy needs is some monies... which Blaze's Mommy has in spades. Happy with their agreement Mommy Blaze suggests Yancy come sit next to her at the table... "You haven't touched me since this morning" (EWWWWWWWWWW.)

Blaze: Chapter 18

2011-03-29T08:53:00.001-07:00

Having worked late and very hard, Hazard is lying on his bed of buffalo robes on the floor, watching Blaze prepare for her bath. Blaze is slowly wandering the cabin in one of Hazards old shirts, have some innocuous conversation with Hazard about his day at work and when Rising Wolf will be back and etc. etc. etc. while she dumps buckets of water into her whore bathtub. Hazard is getting more and more randy as he watches the firelight play on Blaze's exposed legs and undone hair but still he nobly resists his blazin' (I shouldn't enjoy using this word as much as I do...) passions. All Hazard can think of as he looks at Blaze is the last time he fucked her and how strong her legs are and how soft her skin is and how ripe her breasts are... I think you get the point. Hazard is suspicious of Blaze because she is being very nice and not trying to talk him into having sex with her. He voices his suspicions to Blaze and she dismisses them as poppycock... as she takes her shirt off. The now nekkid Blase is bent over the tub ("testing the water with her hand") when Hazard's control snaps (FINALLY). He grabs her, slams her against the wall and goes for it will full force. Bruising kisses, trembling members, vigorous thrusting and just as quickly as it started... flooding spasms. Hazard, breathing heavy, says something to Blaze in his Indian language (again, something that sounds like baby babble), carries her to the bed and goes at it again with her, this time much more leisurely. After the third time (once against the wall, twice on the bed, incase you lost count) Blaze meanders her way down Hazard's body and starts to blow him. Hazard's eyes roll back in his head cause it is THE BEST BLOWJOB EVER till he flips her on her back and slides in for home plate (four times). Blaze blazes (WHY IS THIS STILL FUNNY TO ME?) and is the most responsive and passionate lover Hazard has ever encountered... and that's saying something since he has such VAST EXPERIENCE with humping ladies. The sex gets real poetic at this point for a few paragraphs and Hazard mumbles the same Indian phrase from before as he blows his load ALL OVER THE PLACE (not really).
Blaze and Hazard are lying in bed feeling very satisfied (FINALLY) when Blaze starts trying to mimic the Indian phrase Hazard has been muttering. Hazard, shocked he had been saying 'i love you' in his language while ramming Blaze, lies and says its just pillow talk that doesn't really make any sense translated into English. He suggests they share a bath, to distract Blaze, and she says she is too tired to get into the tub and its cold. Hazard says he will warm the water and carry her to the tub. Hazard starts to warm the water and prepares the tub with some lemon grass to make it smell good, not realizing he is SERVING a WOMAN, which he has NEVER DONE BEFORE (remember: there is a difference between serving and servicing). Look at our little budding Indian feminist. While the water warms, Hazard gets Blaze to sit on his lap and talk about her childhood while he contemplates where the line between love, lover, and hostage lies, without much success. Poor Hazard. So conflicted. Blaze watches him struggle with his thoughts and choses that moment to tell him she loves him. Hazard recoils, but Blaze says she doesn't expect reciprocation of her feelings, she just wants him to know how she feels. Being a WOMAN OF THE WORLD (not) Blaze understands that you don't force feelings out of a man. Hazard explains that she doesn't LOVE him, woman usually form strong attachments to the men who take their virginity. He reminds her they have no future together as they come from VERY DIFFERENT WORLDS. Hazard then starts playing with Blaze's boobies and she starts begging him for another go around. He resists her, still getting in on some boobie action, and Blaze asks why everything has to be a battle of the wills with him. Hazard says "Oh hell" and swings for the fences again (five times).
The scene cuts to Blaze and Hazard lounging in the tub together. Blaze is enjoying herself and asks Hazard if he has ever shared a bath with a woman before. Hazard lies and says no (smart man). Blaze says a shared bath must be one of life's greatest pleasures. Hazard says its pretty nice. Blaze calls him callous and Hazard says its easy to not be callous when all you've done is wear pretty dresses and count your jewelry (OH SNAP). Blaze splashes him and calls him a meanie (I'm paraphrasing) and he apologizes and... starts to fondle her again. Blazes eyes him and asks if he wouldn't mind going at it just ONE MORE TIME. Hazard says she is very forceful but why not (six).
Scene cut to Hazard tucking a sleeping Blaze into bed. He pets her lovingly, reminisces about how awesome it is to have a woman (whore) in his house. He thinks about leaving the tub and puddles for Blaze to clean up in the morning, but decides against it and cleans everything up himself (AWWWW), before climbing into bed next to Blaze and instantly falling asleep.

Blaze: Chapter 17

2011-03-28T12:43:00.000-07:00

Jimmy is still not coming to the cabin and Hazard is starting to get tired of being alone with Blaze and her cooking. Blaze is in the sunniest of moods and its making Hazard all the more angry. And its raining outside. Wahh. Blaze offers to make muffins for lunch (In addition to the muffin shes been trying to give him for days...) and Hazard turns on her, ready to give her an earful, but ends up spending his time staring at the still barely dressed woman and fantasising about throwing her down and ramming it into her good and hard. He says muffins sounds great and leaves, slamming the door behind him. Blaze spends her day attempting to remember the recipes for muffins or biscuits or potatoes or ANYTHING (girl can not cook. fo' reals.) and thinks she would be okay if she just had a damn cookbook... when she stops. She realizes she really CARES if Hazard likes her cooking or not. She CARES of what Hazard thinks about her efforts... Shes IN LOVE WITH HAZARD! Even though he has taken her from her family and home and her life and her virginity and her place in society she CARES ABOUT WHAT HE THINKS. Now Blaze has a new plan... instead of learning to cook she is going to seduce Hazard and make him love her back. Because that wasn't the plan shes been working on for the last few nights or anything... Hazard comes back for lunch to a plate of burnt potatoes and undercooked meat and a grinning Blaze. Blaze asks him if he wants to change out of his rain soaked clothing. Hazard says its fine, hes just going to get wet again anyway. Well, since he's already wet, would he mind hauling water up from the creek for a bath before he comes back for dinner? Hazard agrees, un aware of Blaze's master plan.

Blaze: Chapter 16

2011-03-28T11:47:00.000-07:00

Moving Blaze to her bed and tucking her in, Hazard leaves the cabin and heads for... the local brothel (of course! He does have NEEDS after all). Hazard enters through the back door and goes straight to a room at the top of the stairs and knocks. A dark haired woman lets him in and kisses him. We are introduced to Rose, the prostitute and friend of Hazard's who helped him heal after the death of his parents. Apparently she washed his wounds and mended his heart with her ample bosom and zealous lovemaking. (I'm going to take a moment here to say DISEASES DISEASES DISEASES LOTS AND LOTS OF SYPHILISSSSSSSSS!! ahem.) Rose tells him that everyone is talking about his hostage (and doing nothing about it). He says they can talk all they want, he's the one with the girl, not them. Rose informs Hazard that Blaze's Daddy is looking for a spokesman to make an offer to Hazard. Hazard is glad to hear this news cause is very tired of dealing with those yellow eyes... "But lets not talk about that now Rose... give me all the gossip! Whose fucking whom?" Rose offers him a cup of tea to go with his gossip. He accepts and Rose studies him intently while he sips his tea, seeing more about Jon Hazard Black then he sees about himself... but what EXACTLY SHE SEES we don't know. She just sees it. Great. They talk about Blaze's inability to work and Hazard asks Rose to help him acquire some things to make his life with Blaze a little more comfortable. Like food she can't fuck up and real clothes so she doesn't look like a whore all the time (I'm not sure the clothes are going to change that... I've never seen a girl as ready to grind the bark off a tree as Blaze is). Rose is surprised at how nice he is being to his "hostage" but agrees to help him. She asks if Hazard plans to marry her and he says "NO! No no no no no. no. no no no. nope. na uh." (riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight.) Hazard never plans to marry... ever. Rose is skeptical but doesn't want to irritate Hazard. Hazard asks Rose to get some chocolates and nice soap too. Chocolates for him, soap for Blaze (incase you were wondering...). Rose offers him a quickie before he goes (oh yeah, here it comes) but Hazard refuses (WHAAAAT?!), saying he needs to get back to the cabin before Blaze does something troublesome. Rose says goodbye and muses the Hazard is in far deeper than he realizes.
Hazard returns to the cabin to find a barely clothed Blaze awake, randy and in his bed, not hers. Hazard starts to remove his clothing, getting ready for bed and Blaze says he smells like a cheap whore. Hazard says he actually smells like an expensive whore, not that Blaze would know the difference. Blaze is disgusted with Hazard for not being satisfied with just one women and Hazard says he hasn't had ANY women, thankyouverymuch. Blaze demands to know if he slept with another woman. Hazard, totally naked now, (cause he comes from a tribe where the nude male is a natural and beautiful thing... barf.) tells Blaze to get out of his bed. She demands satisfaction! Hazard picks her up, says he didn't do anything with anyone and tosses her into her bed. Blaze settles into bed happily because EVEN THOUGH THERE IS HUGE AMOUNTS OF EVIDENCE TO THE CONTRARY, Hazard didn't sleep with anyone else while he was out. She knows about these things (not).

Blaze: Chapter 15

2011-03-28T10:33:00.000-07:00

Hazard spends the night out doors, chastising himself for not just giving it to Blaze good and hard when she asked for it. Maybe she isn't sent to distract him? Maybe she is sent to soothe is wretched soul and bring peace and prosperity to his people... or something like that. In the morning Hazard isn't feeling any better about what he is SUPPOSED to do about Blaze... to bang or not to bang? Doesn't seem like something Hazard should be struggling with, but I guess there MUST BE CONFLICT between the two main characters. whatevs. So, Hazard returns to the cabin to find Blaze has made breakfast... if that's what you can call 1/2 cooked biscuits and burnt bacon... Hazard tried his best to apologize for walking out on Blaze last night and Blaze offers him the hand of friendship as well as the opportunity to NOT eat her cooking. They have a moment of warm smiles, companionship and deep internal musings. I'm still confused as to why Blaze hasn't tried to ESCAPE from Hazard so she won't be his hostage anymore and they can do the humpdy dance all they want because it won't be a MORAL STRUGGLE for Hazard anymore? sorry, I'll stop thinking outside the box now. Blaze and Hazard chit chat and we find out Hazard is LOADED, but not really, since he has to support his whole tribe as well as himself. This whole tribe thing is really bringing him down, isn't it? Hazard asks Blaze if she would be willing to wash his buckskins (INUENDO?!). Blaze blanches from the labors and Hazard explains that if she doesn't do it, one of the women from his tribe will come down the mountain and do it for him... and he will compensate her with sex. It's good to know that male prostitution is alive and well in the nineteenth century. Blaze goes through about two pages of getting more and more angry at Hazard because he will have sex with other women while SHE IS IN THE CABIN but won't have sex WITH HER. She says she will be the only one washing his buckskin from here on out (IN-YOUR-ENDO?!). When the day is over and Blaze had thoroughly scrubbed and dried Hazard's buckskins she asks Hazard to compensate her in the normal fashion... but falls asleep in a chair before he can tell her no. Poor Blaze... so tired from her very first day of work. Aww.

Blaze: Chapter 14

2011-03-24T06:49:00.000-07:00

Blaze is panicked because Hazard has left the cabin for... two minutes. She wonders if he is coming back, did he leave for town, is he going to spend the night in someone else's bed, will he leave her locked in the cabin forever, will someone find her months from now dead from starvation and miles of other useless inner monologue. whine whine whine whine whine OH YOUR BACK! Hazard returns with a sizable box for Blaze, and is happy to see her her concern for his absence. He offers her the box and she sequels like a little girl. Inside the box is... A WHORES BATHTUB. Hazard asked Jimmy to help him acquire a bathtub for Blaze since she was SO OPPOSED to the idea of bathing in a lake (I too am often opposed to being bodily tossed into my bath, but maybe thats just my twentieth century feminist ways...). The tub was ordered by a woman of the oldest profession but Jimmy, under Hazard's orders, out-bid her for it and had it secretly delivered to Hazard's cabin. In addition to the copper tub, there are some dresses Hazard asked Jimmy to purchase... which are also of the "working girl" persuasion. Apparently there are only two types of dresses in Montana... those that are SEWN by moral women, and those that are ORDERED by immoral women. ah well. Hazard has water hauled and Blaze's bath prepared for her. Blaze eyes Hazard and suggests he stay. Hazard has A VERY HARD TIME LEAVING because of his still RAGING boner for Blaze (for someone who spent most of the first three chapters boinking anyone who gave him the eye, Hazard is behaving VERY NOBLY. Good for him.), but he does leave, much to Blaze's disappointment.
Hazard, once outside, goes and hugs his grappling gun (they describe him "forcefully embracing" the gun in his OVERWHELMING DESPAIR), and laments the fact that he can't give it to Blaze as hard and frequently as he wishes too... yet he also feels... warmth towards Blaze. A companionship he hasn't felt since his wife died (barf). But of course NOTHING CAN HAPPEN between them, because they are on opposite sides of the same battle... her the captive and him the capturer. He also REALLY HOPES that Blaze has her clothes on when he gets back to the cabin.
Blaze is longing in the tub thinking of how awesome it will be the next time she has sex with Hazard. Cause she knows its coming... he can't hold out forever. He is a MAN after all...
Hazard returns to the cabin to find Blaze bathed and dressed in one of the "costumes" he had bought for her. Apparently its some black number with a VERY LOW NECKLINE and NEXT TO NO SKIRT. Hazard's eyes smolder, Blaze moves seductively, Hazard wants, Blaze wants, they kiss VERY PASSIONATELY and Hazard leaves the cabin, declaring he will sleep outside. Blaze damns him to hell, and Hazard says "get in line."

Blaze: Chapter 13

2011-03-22T07:35:00.000-07:00

After another night of restless sleep, Hazard awakes tired and sore. He goes to the lake and does his daily bathing, being nostalgic about the innocence of his youth. The life of a well educated Indian man holding a lady hostage is very trying, I'm sure. He is also still rocking a sizable hard on for Blaze and hopes his cool dip will alleviate some of his "pain" (obviously the man has never been introduced to his right hand...).
Blaze awakes awhile later to find Hazard gone for the morning, but upon seeing his wet footprints and breakfast dishes she feels a longing for the missing man. She feels conflicted about the new depth of her feelings because she is using Hazard to learn about sex and her new sensuality and does not want things to go further than that. She sees it as a fair trade... Hazard uses her for a ransom and she uses him for his penis. Done deal. Now if Blaze could just get him to get back down to the business of giving her the business...
Hazard comes back to the cabin for lunch to find Jimmy and Blaze waiting for him with lunch ready. Blaze helped make the muffins (heh), which Hazard samples (heh heh), and declares them the best he has ever had (heh heh heh). Hazard, JImmy and Blaze talk mining (cause Blaze knows as much about it as her Daddy does!) and Blaze discovers Hazard was in Boston while she was in Boston. She is shocked he never saw him and becomes VERY OFFENDED when he implies they didn't visit the same drawing rooms. Jimmy suddenly understands who broke all the dishes. Hazard asks Jimmy if he would mind staying at the cabin and cooking more often... Jimmy says he can't his mom won't let him because mummblemummblemummble. Hazard is confused and Jimmy says that his mamma doesn't want him hanging around a "tawdry hussy" more than he has to and what is a tawdry hussy because he has NO IDEA. Hazard sends Jimmy for some water and Blaze LOSES IT. She calls the woman small minded and stupid and WHO IS SHE TO SAY SUCH THINGS ABOUT ME (EVEN THOUGH THEY ARE TOTALLY TRUE). Blaze doesn't care what the woman thinks, she just can't believe she would say such things, she probably is just jealous I get to share a cabin with you. Hazard agrees. Blaze wants to know if Hazard has done the nasty with Jimmy's mom (OMG I BET HE HAS!). Hazard says its none of her business (HE TOTALLY HAS!). Blaze says she will make it her business (YOU TELL HIM HONEY!). Hazard says she isn't his mother (QUICK SOMEONE CALL THE WHAA-BULANCE) Blaze screams TELL ME (YEAH YEAH TELL US!) and Hazard "smiles crookedly" and says No, he hasn't. (BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO).

Blaze: Chapter 12

2011-03-22T06:44:00.001-07:00

Blaze's Mother and Yancy (The forman for Blaze's Daddy) are having a pre-dinner chat. Yancy thinks one Indian is not worth waiting for and should just be blown to smithereens. Blaze's Mother knows what her husband's strict orders were (DO NOTHING TILL I GET BACK) and reminds Yancy that Bladdy will not have any chances taken when HIS daughter is concerned (not ours... HIS). We now get a sampling of back story on these two characters, finding out that both had been forced to take on hardships to continue to secure their lifestyles. Blaze's Mother had to get married (TO THAT BRUTISH MAN) and Fancy Yancy had to get a job (FOR THAT BRUTISH MAN). Yancy asks how Mother Blaze feels about her daughter's kidnapping, and she is properly appalled... but just for the sake of appearances. Both understand that more is being said than is being said and go into dinner together, something that has been happening more and more frequently (BUT ARE THEY DOING IT YET?!!? I NEED TO KNOOOOOOOOOOOW!!).

Blaze: Chapter 11

2011-03-22T06:13:00.000-07:00

Sitting in the cabin amongst the bits of broken pottery (from at least 24 hours ago by my math... girl really DOES NOT KNOW how to bend over and pick things up) is Blaze, reading a newspaper she found when a young boy walks into the cabin. He introduces himself as Jimmy Pernell, a young boy from nearby who runs errands and brings groceries for Hazard. Jimmy offers to help Blaze make lunch, saying Hazard asked him to help teach her how to cook and clean. Blaze asks if he gets paid for his labors and he says Hazard pays his whole family... him for helping with the chores, his mom for some basic sewing and laundry, his sister for bringing the local paper and the baby for just being cute. PS: I didn't make that last one up... its in the book. Itsn't Hazard such a generous soul? (whatever). Jimmy (the most ORIGINAL name for a young errand boy) says his mother is mad keen on Hazard and says God broke the mold with him. Blaze thinks thats sweet and I think Hazard's boinking Jimmy's mom on the side... but maybe thats just me! Jimmy helps Blaze do the dishes and then picks up all the broken pottery. He doesn't think anything of the smashed dishes, cause he knows grow-ups row sometimes and things go flying from hands... his mama smashed a whole lot of dishes after da died, so Blaze must have a VERY VALID REASON for breaking pretty much everything. Hazard arrives for lunch, which Jimmy made and Blaze "helped" (fucked it all up, but shes LEARNING). Hazard is very impressed with Blaze's foundling domestic skills and Blaze feels a warmth in her bones whenever Hazard smiles and compliments her efforts. Jimmy has NO IDEA why they're making eyes and "witty" banter at each other, but he figures there might not be broken dishes anymore. Hazard is happy to see Blaze in an amiable mood and Blaze says there's something else that would make her EVEN MORE amiable. Hazard bows out, doing his best to ignore his SUDDEN RAGING BONER and Blaze is all starry eyed from Hazard's knowing looks but upset about how NOBEL the damn man is. Blaze, being SPOILED AND HIGH SPIRITED understands nobility and duty but has no practical experience with such virtues.
When Jimmy leaves the cabin, Hazard corners him and tells him to tell no one of the beautiful red-head in his cabin (WHY HAS NOBODY THOUGHT IT WEIRD HE IS JUST KEEPING THIS WOMAN LOCKED IN HIS CABIN?!) and to go discretely buy some extra supplies in town.

Blaze: Chapter 10

2011-03-21T09:19:00.000-07:00

Hazard returns to the cabin to find Blaze awake and sitting up in bed. She asks who the hell that was, and Hazard says "My ba-goo-ba, my brother" Personally, ba-goo-ba sounds like something my boyfriend's 6 month old nephew would say, but who am I to discuss the auditory merits of a noble Indian language? Blaze is very surprised he has a brother and Hazard tells her he was an only child, but in his tribe you're supposed to call your wife's brother your brother and treat him as such. Blaze is very shocked Hazard is married and becomes very UPSET with him for not telling ALL THE LADIES. Hazard, very uncomfy, tells her she is dead and no, he doesn't want to talk about. Hazard asks Blaze if she wants a bath. She says no and thinks it's weird he bathes EVERYDAY. Hazard calls her dumb (obtuse) and she reacts poorly and picks a verbal fight because she is SO HIGH SPIRITED and SO USED TO GETTING HER OWN WAY. She suggests he kill her b/c she won't bathe, Hazard is doing his best not to be goaded, but is getting pretty pissed. So he grabs her and carries her bodily down to the lake, blanket and all (because she is still naked from bed... remember?) They spend a LONG TIME bickering while Hazard holds her, going over how young she is (no i'm not! I'm a grown lay-dee!) and how useless she is (I can shoot goddamnit!) and how un-lady like she is (lay-dee's are b o r i n g and I am so not!) and then he tosses her in the lake. She sinks to the bottom and Hazard dives in to save her. There a lot of powerful kicking and swimming and grabbing and pulling and Hazard (un-winded because he is such a spectacular specimen of man) deposits a very naked Blaze on the shore. Yet as he does, their thighs brush and suddenly the passions are blazing and they are making out like there is no tomorrow. Cause thats all it takes to break Jon Hazard Black's vow of celibacy... and little thigh on thigh action! Blaze touches Hazard and Hazard shudders and suddenly she realizes she has POWER OVER HIM. Cause he is so into her. And she can use that. So she's touching and stroking and Hazard is going ape-y over it and promises to have sex with her over and over and over again and that she is omg so hott and so good and blah blah blah. Hazard glances up from their pre-coital activities and sees his sacred bundle hanging from a tree (I know, I know... I was hoping it was his testicles too, but apparently its not. le sigh) The bundle contains the objects Hazard acquired on his vision quest and ALL OF A SUDDEN he remembers his promise to his tribe, the land and himself and this WHORE OF A WOMAN is really fucking that up. He backs away from her and tells her to go inside and get dressed. Blaze wants him sooooooo bad and wants to know why he won't give her a good beefing. Hazard reminds her they agreed to be platonic and tells her he has too many good reasons to NOT fuck her and fucking her would fuck those up... got that? So she leaves, pissed but ready for her challenge of figuring out how to get Hazard to bone her till she can't walk anymore.
On the other side of the story, Blaze's Daddy (Bladdy) is very panicked about the state of his daughter. He spoiled her far too much and now doesn't know WHAT is going to happen to her! His Indian guide tells him that Hazard is of a tribe that doesn't take scalps, they use hostages for keeping the peace (wha?). The Indian guide gives Bladdy a cup of coffee and he feels much better.

Blaze: Chapter 9

2011-03-21T07:02:00.001-07:00

Blaze and Hazard spend the night in separate beds, as per their agreement. Blaze sleeps in the bed and Hazard sleeps on the floor atop buffalo robes (THANK GOD he is an Indian with an ample supply of pelts to curl up in or he might have been really uncomfortable down there, all cold and lonely...) Blaze dreams of strong arms, furious kisses and long black hair. These dreams make Blaze so FEVERED and SWEATY that she throws off all her blankets in her sleep, exposing her naked self to the BARELY RESTRAINED Hazard on the floor. Cause no high bread lay-dee from the 1800's EVER wore a nightshirt... Hazard, VERY VERY TEMPTED, is unable to sleep and questions the sanity in this arrangement (FOR THE FIRST TIME). Around dawn Hazard hears footsteps and is instantly awake, up-right, wearing pants and carrying a gun when who should walk through the door but Hazards Indian friend Rising Wolf (obligatory erect penis reference). Rising Wolf sees the nekkid Blaze sleeping in the cot and offers to buy her for 80 ponies. Apparently Indian men always assume a naked woman in a bed is a whore and is for sale... not that I can really blame them. Blaze really hasn't done much to dissuade that assumption. Hazard tells his friend she is not for sale, she is his hostage. Rising Wolf, knowing Hazards revolving door policy with woman, offers for Blaze again, once Hazard is done with her. Hazard again says no, telling his friend he must keep her to prevent her Daddy from shooting him in the face and stealing his land. Rising Wolf offers his assistance in guarding Hazards mining plot, but Hazard says he's got it covered with his new toy... A GATLING GUN. Apparently the cavalry wasn't very keen on carrying A GATLING GUN IN 1870 back East, so Hazard just... took it. Rising Wolf becomes very excited about the idea of this VERY VERY LARGE GUN HAVE I MENTIONED HOW FUCKING HUGE THIS GUN IS coming back to the tribe when Hazard is done with it and all the yellow eyes it will stop (thats what the Indians keep calling white people... yellow eyes. A quick Google search reveals NOTHING ABOUT ANYONE EVER USING THAT TERM FOR A WHITE DUDE. Ever. Just in case you were wondering.) Hazard tells him he plans to be back home with his tribe by next year, with the gun but sans-female. Rising Wolf says it must be nice having a chickie to warm your bed. Hazard says she sleeps alone. Rising Wolf laughs in his face. Rising Wolf asks Hazard if he HAS slept with her? Hazard says "not lately" (as in not today... yesterday though...) Rising Wolf is not surprised Hazard couldn't keep his hands off that sweet little piece. Hazard tells him that he's sorry he ever touched her, cause she is complicating his ability to fulfill his vision. APPARENTLY, Hazard went on a vision quest before he purchased his mining land and a red eagle and a black cougar told Hazard that gold metal will bless his clan and its his job to go get it. Hazard awoke from his vision to find a red feather and a tuft of black fur next to him and then he knew EXACTLY WHAT HE HAD TO DO. Not that his vision couldn't be interpreted more than one way... here, lets try! Maybe the red eagle is Blaze (duh) and the black cougar is him (again, duh) and the gold metal is the little blonde baby they're destined to have? Okay, maybe thats not without its flaws but neither is Hazard's idea! Rising Wolf and Hazard start packing up Hazard's current gold stash and putting it on pack mules. Rising Wolf asks if Hazard is coming for the summer hunt. Hazard says no, especially not with the lady in tow. Rising Wolf suggests bringing her but Hazard refuses. He doesn't want the tribe thinking she's his boink-friend (WHICH SHE ISN'T... anymore...). Rising Wolf doubts Hazards ability to keep it in his pants (AS DO I). Hazard sends his friend off through the mountain trail ONLY THE INDIANS KNOW ABOUT (convenient, no?) and the author subtly alludes to the fact that Hazard might be in love with Blaze.

Blaze: Chapter 8

2011-03-17T06:44:00.001-07:00

Blaze's Daddy (Bladdy? Daze?) is following an Indian guide up a mountain in an attempt to find a mediator from Hazard's Indian tribe to help him get his daughter back. Bladdy is very scared of Hazard and takes the taking hostage of his only child VERY SERIOUSLY. The book now goes into a back story on Daddy, where we learn he was a poor orphan in Ireland, till he came to America to make his millions. Blaze's Mummy married him because he was the biggest fortune on the market that season, ended up pregnant before the honeymoon was even over and after having the baby, decided to lead a completely separate life from her husband and daughter. Bladdy is of course obsessed with Blaze (being the one of bestow her with her FANTASTIC nick-name at the age of four), wanting to give her all the love and time and money he never had. He has told his men to go nowhere near Hazard's cabin, not willing to test the savages patience, while he rides day and night to find the mediator he is searching for. They encounter a tribe of Indian's related to Hazard, but not HIS tribe, who tell them his tribe is over the mountain and through the woods (valley)... maybe. Its summer, so everyone is moving around a bunch (damn nomads). Bladdy continues to push till the point of exhaustion until his mountain guides notices he is having trouble breathing in the altitude of the mountain. His guide lies, says his horse has a pebble in his shoe (aww) forcing everyone to stop and rest for the night. Bladdy is looking a little better, after some rest. PREDICTION: Bladdy ends up dead, Blaze is distraught and blames Hazard, forcing Hazard to tell her about his anguish over the death of his parents. She feels for her Indian man and the scars he carries, and then they fuck. (just you wait! I'll bet you guys MAD money I'm right!)

Blaze: Chapter 7

2011-03-15T13:29:00.001-07:00

Returning to the cabin for lunch, Hazard finds the cabin still littered with broken pottery. He calmly makes himself a simple lunch and then tells Blaze she does have to clean up her "mess." Blaze tells him to get bent. Hazard invites her to sit down and so they can come to some kind of agreement with their... arrangement. I wasn't aware you discussed anything with a hostage by hey, I'm always willing to learn something new! Hazard says he is sorry for their circumstances and what it might do to her reputation and future life, but he didn't ask for life to turn out this way, it just did. (cause he didn't jump to any CRAZY CONCLUSIONS at any point or make a BAD DECISION, did he?) Due to the intimacy of the cabin Hazard agrees to control his urges and not fuck Blaze anymore (yeah. right.) Blaze agrees to not seduce Hazard. Hazard is happy to hear this but a little bummed to... he is a BIG FAN of the naked tango after all. Blaze says she hopes her father comes to some agreement with Hazard soon. Hazard agrees.

Blaze: Chapter 6

2011-03-15T13:13:00.000-07:00

Hazard ties Blaze to himself at the wrist and waist and goes promptly to sleep. Blaze, apparently done being indignant for right now, spends 1/2 of the night observing Hazard and being in love with the planes and contours of his face... cause he is a man... with a past... and an inner ache... and a great pair of lips... or something like that. In the early morning Blaze remembers she is angry and starts chewing Hazard out. To stop her bitching Hazard kisses her real good. When that doesn't shut her up, he kisses her real REAL good. Once shes all dewy eyed and bothered, Hazard asks her to make breakfast. She says no (not because she doesn't WANT to, but because she doesn't know HOW) and Hazard puts his hand between her legs. After some rubbing and hip arching Hazard asks her to make breakfast... she says yes in her breathy desperation... then he asks her to clean... again she says yes... then he asks her to bring him her father's head in a plate (okay, i might be making this one up)... and she says yes, yes, yes, anything, please! So they get down to business once more (for only two paragraphs thankGOD) and then Hazard goes to bathe in the stream. Blaze watches him in the stream, decides she is going to be a good little hostage and greet him at the door with a smile, when she discovers its locked (duh). She becomes VERY UPSET by the fact that he doesn't trust her and tells him all about it. He says lets make breakfast. She fucks up the eggs, apparently content to be a good little girl again but is still inept. Hazard offers to let her go outside to pee ("ease yourself") and counts down from 200 at the door. At 193 (EXACTLY) Blaze comes back and tells Hazard the view is magnificent. Personally, I've never seen gold leafed turds before, but I'm sure they must be a sight to behold. Hazard calls her provoking... for a woman. Blaze asks him what being a woman has to do with it. He says "its a man's world baby, get used to it" (paraphrasing) and closes the cabin door just in time to hear all his dishes being thrown against the now closed door. Blaze threatens to never take orders from him again... cause she is no docile WOMAN hostage. She does muse though that it is hard to stay mad at Jon Hazard Black when he is smiling down at her in that condescending manner (again... might have made the last part up. I apologize).

Blaze: Chapter 5

2011-03-15T11:49:00.000-07:00

So Blaze hikes up the hill to Hazards claim, leaving Daddy, Fancy Yancy and all the kings horses (see also: Dad's entourage) at the bottom of the hill to stand guard. Hazard invites her in to his cabin (what a gentleman!) and Blaze tells him she has a business proposition for him. All Hazard hears is "I'm a filthy whore, fuck me in exchange for your land." Hazard asks her name (FINALLY) and Blaze tells him to call her Miss Braddock. Blaze says she will offer him anything he wants for his claim (for a smart girl she sure doesn't know what an innuendo is) and Hazard thinks she is very good at playing the virgin-whore. He says "okay, lets bargain," and starts un-buttoning her blouse. Blaze, NOT THINKING THIS IS WEIRD AT ALL, blushes and mouth breathes while Hazard gropes at her boobies. Hazard, still thinking she is a whore sent by her Dad's men to entice him, gets her shirt off and starts kissing her. He is so worked up by her seemingly "innocent confusion" (note: not screaming and shoving, just a little confused... how very high-spirited of her!) that he thinks she is the best whore he has ever seen. He starts to grind on her, offers to buy her, and she says "you don't understand." Hazard, TOTALLY UNDERSTANDING WHATS HAPPENING (not), gets her undershirt off (chemise, whatever) and starts going to town on her now exposed breast-est-es. Blaze, all blazing with passion (you see what I did there?) mumbles something like "I shouldn't be doing this" which pulls Hazard out of the moment. Angry at her for tempting him this far (wha?) he stomps to a chair and sits down, all brooding like. Blaze, still blazin', trys to coo and coddle him back towards doing the hump-de-dump (which she doesn't even know about, she just knows she yearns for it). Hazard hems and haws, Blaze coos and caresses and suddenly Hazard has her pinned up against a wall. He tells her to go, otherwise he will finish what he started. Blaze won't go. Hazard throws his ethics to the wind and smashes into her face with a kiss. Shes all responsive and shit and Hazard is like "then lets do this." He tells her to undress the rest of the way and Blaze, being all upper crust doesn't know how to get her own clothes off. Hazard takes this as another example of a whore pretending to play coy and cuts the rest of her clothes off her. Cause he always keeps a knife in arms reach... doesn't every mining Indian with a Harvard education? Hazard gets right down to business and starts blowing Blaze. She all shocked but loving it and Hazard says "I like a bitch in heat." Classy. Hazard pulls out his don juan and tells Blaze to look at what shes doing to him. Blaze doesn't look and Hazard thinks that she is baulking because she really doesn't want to fuck an Indian (cause all the other stuff before was a prime example of how much he DISGUSTS her) and tells her to get dressed and get out. For someone who humps all the time he is certainly waffling on this one! She says no and he says he's sorry they're forcing her to this... and she bursts into tears! She starts crying right there because she is SO WORKED UP and DOESN'T UNDERSTAND WHY. So after a good cry she starts nuzzling Hazard and he gets right back into the swing of things. He gets himself half way inside her when he feels resistance. OH NOES A VIRGIN! Hazard pulls away and freaks out for a sec, asking Blaze where she is from (Boston), how old she is (Nineteen), and if she really wants to do this (she does). Satisfied he GETS BACK TO BUSINESS (seriously... can they just do this already? I'm getting kinds sick of this start-stop-start-stop game...) and boinks her good (but not before saying: "I hope I'm not going to regret this." (why do I not see that working out for him?)). Of course, its the best sex ever for him and shortly after it's over Blaze, newly awakened to her bodies bedtime abilities, wants more. So they go at it again... and then theres another time after that. humphumphumphumphump until she's satisfied. And this isn't even a fraction of how mind-numbingly descriptive the sex was. It just want on and on and on and on...
Passions quenched, they get back down to brass tacks: will Hazard sell his claim to Blaze's Daddy? Hazard says he won't sell his claim to anyone for any amount of money, but he'll think about buying Blaze off her pimp. Blaze does not take this moment to contradict him (she doesn't even know he thinks shes a whore), just tells him she is a free agent (a wha?) and she is not for sale. A gun shot goes off outside the cabin and Hazard FLIPS OUT! He tells Blaze to stay in the cabin or he will shoot her dead, runs outside and screams that his claim is not for sale and he will now keep Miss. Braddock hostage so you guys won't ambush me, thank you very much have a good afternoon. Blaze now FLIPS OUT and tells him he can't do that and he says who is going to stop him? And since shes staying here she should cook, clean and keep house while hes out in his mine. Being a high born lay-dee, Blaze calmly (screams) informs Hazard that she doesn't know how to do any of things! Hazard says she will learn and then goes and stares off into the distance (YES THIS IS HOW IT WENT. They were totally fighting and then suddenly Hazard is starting out a window being mopey. If I was Blaze I would have cracked the chair across his back right there and ran.) Hazard muses about his tribe and his claim and the sacrifices he makes so his tribe can continue on... and Blaze is just the security he needs to keep her Daddy's company off his back (cause they're just going to back off now that he has the guy's DAUGHTER) and she is smokin' in the sack: BONUS POINTS!

Blaze: Chapter 4

2011-03-15T08:59:00.001-07:00

Hazard is working hard on his mining land and is way to tired to think about Blaze (BTW: he doesn't know her name yet. He just thinks about her red hair, creamy skin and hot little body. What more does a man need, am I right?) Blaze, being a lay-dee, is still bored and does nothing but think of her VERY PERSUASIVE lover. They then go into a lengthy description of Blaze's unconventional education and how damn smart the girl is (but not smart enough to fend off Hazard's attack of the manly tongue...) So she decides to leave with her father to go visit his mining lands and help him make new acquisitions. They do that for a few pages and then we get to a scene where her daddy's foreman, Yancy Strahan (PREDICTION: VILLAIN WHO DIES IN A MINE COLLAPSE), bitches about some damn injin (Hazard, duh.) who won't sell his land and killed three dudes last week when they asked about it (apparently they drew their guns first, but who can say?). Blaze's Daddy and his men ponder this problem when headstrong and spirited Blaze says she will go talk to the savage. Fancy Yancy thinks this is a great idea cause that Indian looooooooooooves the ladies. Daddy says no, Blaze whines, Daddy says yes.

Blaze: Chapter 3

2011-03-15T08:57:00.000-07:00

Its the night of the Territorial Ball and Blaze is lounging in a window seat wearing a cream colored strapless gown. They describe the dress and her beauty for like two pages. Honestly, the idea of a ginger in a white dress sounds a little like seeing a wedding cake on fire, but who am I to judge? I wear matching sweaters and leg warmers. I am the height of good taste. So Blaze looks super good and is going to be the belle of the ball. Great.
Hazard is sitting in a bathtub in a hotel drinking brandy. There's a knock at the door and his night's hostess comes in. She then proceeds to strip (slowly... at Hazard's request) and joins him in the tub. While Hazard is boning yet another high class married lady, they take the time to inject the fact (many, many times) that any woman in the territory would be SO DAMN HAPPY for a chance with Jon Hazard Black. It a wonder they let this man walk down the street with all the panties that must drop just upon seeing his manly physic. So they go at it in the tub, get dressed and then go at it again with clothes on. Her slippers leave little smudges on the back of his suit jacket. Isn't that cute and delicate?
Blaze and family arrive at the ball and her mother takes some time to talk about how uncivilized it is out here. The other guests at the ball talk about their hostess and the likelihood of her being in the family way and then pooping out a tan baby. (OH GOD THAT'S RIGHT! How is he preventing conception in all these chickies?!?! They haven't mentioned any kind of contraception being used... I wonder if he will turn out to be sterile in the end. One can only hope). Blaze is of course a hit and Hazard is hott and brooding in a doorway, and neither notice the other. Hazard gets a note from the hostess (the one he was just bathtub humping) and is very cross with her for sending it (because there must be DISCRETION when you fuck married women). They meet outside, she clings to him and tells how much she needs him inside her (okay... I'm paraphrasing, but you get it) and he says "but no, I must be gone with first light" and she said "no, no, no" and he says "yes, yes, yes" and she says "no, no, no" and he says... i think you get it. He agrees to postpone his travels till the evening and promises to come stick it to her first think in the morning. Once horny hostess leaves, Hazard decides to stroll outside where he discovers Blaze sitting in a dark alcove well within earshot. He angrily accuses her of eavesdropping, she says "no I wasn't" and he says "yes you were" and she says "fuck you, no I wasn't" and then he says "I'm going to lick the inside of your mouth now." Hazard grabs her and starts making out with her and Blaze gets all weak in the knees (cause you know, hes so talented with woman and all) and then he pulls down her dress and start sucking on her tits! Blaze is totally caving into his "animal magnetism" and Hazard is blowing her mind with his skill and nobody seems remember he has just been doing shit like this to another woman and is scheduled to do more to her the next morning... sounds like love to me! So Hazard is all hot and bothered and decides to run with that, grabs Blaze and throws her down on a table in some unoccupied summer kitchen. So they're kissing and hes groping her and suckling some more and she is whirling in a vortex of desire and Hazard decides its time to pull out the goods when... Blaze's father calls her. She ALL OF A SUDDEN comes to her senses, shoves him off and runs out. Hazard is VERY ANNOYED that he's left with a raging boner and no lady to put it in, but decides to wait until tomorrow and then just really stick it to his lady hostess.

Blaze: Chapter 2

2011-03-15T08:56:00.001-07:00

Hazard is in his dorm room at Harvard being prodded by his friends into going to a party. He hems and haws but they finally convince him to go when his one friend mentions that his sister will be there and her husband is in Erie for the week. That gets Hazard going (surprise, surprise...). We now get a blow by blow history of the set up to the Civil War (battles lines drawn, states succession one by one etc.) and if this seems a little left field for you it felt the same way for me. Its also written in a little bit of a rushed manner. After watching Hazard SLOWLY sexy sexy his way through most of chapter one, the first half of chapter two happens in a very quick blur. Here is the re-cap: the civil war starts, Hazard is specially asked to join a cavalry company (run by the husband of the hostess he had been giving it to just a few pages ago), he hems and haws but then signs up, is pretty epic in battle, gallops his way through the civil war, blowing up trains and fucking up supply lines, the civil war ends, he finds out about the death of his parents, he goes home to find 1/2 of his tribe is gone dead due to small pox, and he slashes his arms and legs in a mourning ceremony. whew...
Chapter two now switches to our heroine. Venetia Braddock (known to her friends as Blaze, due to her red hair) is pretty, voluptuous, smart, spoiled, rich and nineteen. She has no intentions of marrying. But wait, lets just take a minute to enjoy her name... Blaze... I think if anyone ever called me that I would tell them to go Ba-low themselves. Now lets enjoy the hero and the heroine together... Blaze and Hazard. Blazard? Haze? Anyway, Blaze doesn't want to get married even though she is beautiful and starting to edge towards old-maid (TWENTY) but she is insistent and her father loves her, so no dudes for her even though she is ripe for the picking. Blaze has been traveling with her father and mother in Montana so her dad can check out mining acquisitions and it conveniently puts her in the same city as the hero. So Blaze is at home, bored and decides to go for a walk... in pants! (Mother is aghast, Daddy indulges) Shes wandering up a hill when she comes to a HUGE MUD PUDDLE that she CANNOT POSSIBLY CROSS and she spies a shirtless Indian (our hero) sleeping in the shade of nearby tree. She kicks him and commands him to help her (because she is so damn high-spirited) and offers him twenty bucks for the job (in very halting English I might add, cause she thinks he is a class-A idiot... I mean he is an savage after all, right?) He doesn't respond, just looks at her and scowls. So she pulls out her gun (totally logical thing to do...) and "smooth as a striking panther" Hazard karate chops the gun out of her hand and has her pinned on the ground. She says she is very sorry and Hazard takes this opportunity to look down her shirt and survey the goods. Cause that's what happens when our when a lady-dee draws a gun on an unarmed man... she gets molested. Duh. Hazard thinks about fucking her, decides against it (how very unlike him...) and starts her carry her across the mud puddle. Blaze is now all a twitter on the inside b/c now she knows what a man's touch feels like... oh my! And he isn't wearing a shirt! And he is carrying her! Her panties are all kinds of damp.
Hazard drops her off on the other side of the puddle, struts off and Blaze and Hazard spend the rest of the chapter lusting after each other and being all "gaze off into the distance and sigh"-y. Gag.

Blaze: Chapter 1

2011-03-15T08:52:00.000-07:00

Its Boston, 1861 and some guy is fucking some girl. Okay, well not quite fucking... they're groping in a hallway, but they get down to fucking pretty quickly after that. Through all of their pre-boinking cooing we learn that our male is gorgeous, tall, broad shouldered, muscled, tan and an Indian (In the words of my very racist grandfather: Casino 'Indian' not Kwik-e-Mart 'Indian') from Montana. The lady is apparently blonde, covered in miles of silk (her dress is VERY BIG... they allude to its copiousness many times.) and smells faintly of violets. In the span of about three pages we learn our hero is a very prolific lover by watching him go for it with ALL HIS MIGHT. Poor quivering lass never stood a chance against his kisses, blow jobs and virile member. Have I mentioned we are three pages into the book? Cause seriously... coo, coo, grope, pertinent information, fucking. Bif, bam, boom.
The next page and a half is taken up with our introduction to her heroine. She is apparently a few doors down from our hero's hump fest and it bored with being a high-bread lady (la-dy [ley-dee]: (n.) Seventeen and hot as all get out) who isn't allowed to curse or go anywhere alone. Her mom is a frigid bitch and her dad indulges her. And she is bored. whine whine whine bitch bitch bitch.
Aaaaaaaaaaaaand now the hero is fucking again! For another two pages. I feel like I should be 14 and blushing while reading in public. The last time I needed this much sex in my romance novels I wasn't having any of my own. And its kinda pointless sex too. Yes, he is an AMAZING LOVER who HUMPS LIKE A GOD, but really... haven't we already established that with the previous moment of sexual relations? This just seems excessive.
Once the hero and blonde female have satiated themselves they chit chat a little and we find out he is currently in attendance at Harvard. His father is a tribal chief who sent him to learn "the white man's way" to help bring his tribe into the nineteenth century. There's more cooing and touching and quivering next to each other and we learn that our hero is named Jon Hazard Black. From the amount of fucking this man does I'd say the Hazard nickname is to warn potential hump buddies that it is indeed hazardous to do the naked dance with this man and the MANY MANY DISEASES he must have. Then we find out blonde female has a name (Lillebet) and is his hostess' sister-in-law (see also: married). And then there is another page and a half of fucking. JOY.
Scene cut to Hazard downstairs at some socialite party with his pants back on. He is scanning the crowd and being hotttttttttt in a doorway when the parties' hostess comes up him and... you guessed it! Begs him for sex! So the pants come back off and Hazard is back to doing what he does best, although thankfully it only takes a paragraph this time.

Introduction

2011-03-15T08:47:00.000-07:00

Okay, so I am 79 pages into Blaze by Susan Johnson (at the recommendation of Sherry Thomas in an interview on All About Romance) and I am aghast at how BAD this romance novel is! I've read my fair share of re-donk-ulous romance novels, but not in many many years. After discovering such jems of the romance genre as Laura Kinsale and Loretta Chase I have stayed far far away from my sordid Zebra Lovegram publishing past. Since i now find myself slogging through what I would consider a pretty ludicrous romance novel (If I spent the $5.99 on the ebook, I am going to read it goddammit!) I figured I would pound out a chapter by chapter re-hash, for the sake of putting down all the thoughts I have about this book in one place. I apologize in advance for my hubris. Please do not read any further.